Wikipedia defines a Mission Statement as:
…a statement of the purpose of a company, organization or person, its reason for existing. The mission statement should guide the actions of the organization, spell out its overall goal, provide a path, and guide decision-making.
Most of us are familiar with the idea of a Mission Statement. Many of us have participated in creating a Mission Statement for our company or work group. But do you have a one for your marriage?
Not surprisingly, most couples do not have a Mission Statement for their relationship. However, not having a clear vision for your marriage is like getting in your car and starting to drive without any idea of where you’re going – not terribly effective.
So how would you go about creating a Mission Statement for your marriage?
Start with your goals
What is your intention for your marriage? What is it that you desire to create for yourself through your marriage? Some people long for passion and excitement, others want stability and security. There is no right or wrong intention, but having an awareness of your intention is crucial.
Be clear about what you want, why you want it and align your intention with your spouse’s. Communicate about your intentions, make sure that you are headed in the same direction and that your intentions aren’t at cross-purposes.
Understand your core values
It is important that you and your spouse both have a strong awareness of your core values – what matters most to you in life. Once you have a sense of what guides you as an individual it is time to further understand what are the basic beliefs (values) that you share as a couple.
Be clear about what you want to create together
Using what you have learned from #1 and #2 above develop a clear statement about what you want your marriage to become – this is the meat of your Mission Statement. This should evoke dynamic images, and positive emotions. Be colorful and inspiring with the language you choose.
Be specific about how you will reach your goals together
Now for the nuts and bolts of the statement; what are the actions that you will take to make this vision a reality? Think of verbs here, what are the specific things you will need to do throughout the course of your marriage? Choose items that align with your goals. Some examples include:
- Make time to talk every day
- Say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ with a hug & kiss every time we come and go
- Do something fun together twice a week
- If we get to a point that we don’t like in our relationship seek help such as Marriage Counseling
As you create your Mission Statement be sure to consider other people who will play a part in your journey such as family and friends. It is important that you are mindful about surrounding yourself with people who will support your Mission Statement.
Have fun with the process. While it sounds like a corporate exercise, it isn’t. It is simply using a proven model to consciously create the marriage you desire. Enjoy getting to know each other even better by exploring the steps above.
Be sure to review your Mission Statement on a regular basis to keep you focused and to see if you’re on track. And as you both change and grow make adjustments as needed.
Know where you are going and why. You can create whatever type of marriage you desire, but it won’t just happen on its own.